Funny Personal Finance Resolutions: Laugh Your Way to a Richer You
The new year is upon us, and with it comes the annual tradition of making resolutions. We vow to hit the gym, eat healthier, and finally learn that foreign language we’ve been putting off for years. But let’s be honest, how many of those resolutions actually stick?
This year, let’s try something different. Instead of setting ourselves up for failure with unrealistic goals, let’s embrace the power of humor and make some funny personal finance resolutions. After all, if we can’t laugh at our money mistakes, what can we laugh at?
1. I Will Stop Pretending I Understand Cryptocurrency
Cryptocurrency. It’s the buzzword that’s been on everyone’s lips for the past few years. We nod along in conversations, pretending to understand the intricacies of blockchain technology and decentralized finance. But let’s face it, most of us are just faking it.
This year, I resolve to stop pretending. I will no longer attempt to explain the difference between Bitcoin and Ethereum. I will resist the urge to invest in the latest meme coin. Instead, I will focus on understanding the basics of personal finance and leave the crypto speculation to the experts (or the gamblers).
2. I Will Only Buy Coffee From Places Where They Spell My Name Right
Let’s be real, half the reason we go to coffee shops is for the validation of seeing our name written on a cup. But what happens when the barista butchers your name beyond recognition? Is it a personal attack? A sign from the universe?
This year, I resolve to only buy coffee from places where they spell my name correctly. If they can’t manage to spell "Sarah" or "Michael," they don’t deserve my hard-earned money. This may severely limit my coffee options, but at least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing my name is being respected.
3. I Will Start a Budget, But Only If It Involves Glitter and Stickers
Budgeting. The dreaded B-word. It conjures up images of spreadsheets, restrictions, and a general lack of fun. But what if we could make budgeting more enjoyable?
This year, I resolve to start a budget, but only if it involves glitter and stickers. I will create a colorful spreadsheet, decorate it with sparkly stickers, and track my expenses with the enthusiasm of a kindergartner. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually stick to it this time.
4. I Will Stop Blaming Amazon for My Spending Habits
Amazon. The online retail giant that has everything we could ever want, and things we didn’t even know we needed. It’s so easy to click "add to cart" and justify our purchases with the promise of free shipping.
This year, I resolve to stop blaming Amazon for my spending habits. It’s not their fault I bought a self-stirring mug or a banana slicer. I will take responsibility for my impulse purchases and resist the urge to browse Amazon when I’m bored.
5. I Will Start Investing, But Only in Companies That Make Things I Actually Use
Investing can be intimidating. There are so many options, so many risks, and so much jargon. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin.
This year, I resolve to start investing, but only in companies that make things I actually use. I will invest in the coffee shop that fuels my caffeine addiction, the streaming service that provides my entertainment, and the clothing store that keeps me looking stylish (or at least presentable).
6. I Will Stop Checking My Bank Account After a Night Out
We’ve all been there. You wake up the next morning, feeling slightly worse for wear, and the first thing you do is check your bank account. The numbers stare back at you, a stark reminder of your questionable decisions from the night before.
This year, I resolve to stop checking my bank account after a night out. Ignorance is bliss, right? I will delay the inevitable reckoning and pretend that my money is still safely tucked away in my account.
7. I Will Start Using Cash More Often, Just So I Can Feel Like a Gangster
In a world of debit cards, credit cards, and mobile payments, cash is becoming increasingly obsolete. But there’s something undeniably cool about pulling out a wad of bills and slapping it on the counter.
This year, I resolve to start using cash more often, just so I can feel like a gangster. I will carry around a stack of crisp hundred-dollar bills (okay, maybe just twenties) and pay for everything in cash, just for the thrill of it.
8. I Will Stop Comparing My Finances to Others on Social Media
Social media. It’s a highlight reel of everyone else’s seemingly perfect lives. We see their fancy vacations, their expensive cars, and their perfectly curated homes, and we can’t help but compare ourselves.
This year, I resolve to stop comparing my finances to others on social media. I will unfollow anyone who makes me feel inadequate and focus on my own financial journey. After all, everyone’s situation is different, and comparing ourselves is a recipe for unhappiness.
9. I Will Start a Side Hustle, But Only If It Involves Playing With Puppies
Side hustles are all the rage these days. Everyone seems to have a passion project that earns them extra money. But let’s be honest, most side hustles are just extra work.
This year, I resolve to start a side hustle, but only if it involves playing with puppies. I will get paid to cuddle, feed, and walk adorable puppies. It’s the perfect way to make money and get my daily dose of cuteness.
10. I Will Finally Understand the Difference Between APR and APY
APR and APY. These acronyms are the bane of every personal finance newbie’s existence. They sound similar, but they mean completely different things.
This year, I resolve to finally understand the difference between APR and APY. I will watch countless YouTube videos, read countless articles, and ask countless questions until I finally grasp the concept. Or, I’ll just continue to pretend I know and hope for the best.
Conclusion
Personal finance doesn’t have to be boring. By adding a little humor to our resolutions, we can make the process more enjoyable and increase our chances of success. So, let’s embrace the funny side of money and laugh our way to a richer, happier new year!
